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Adversity Strikes: Burnt Out… Hungry… Almost Homeless… And Overwhelming Family & Friend Death




I was going into my sophomore year of college. I had been selected to be one of the two Athletic Training students to work with the Men’s Basketball Team, the most coveted internship experience in the Athletic Training program. The same basketball program where names like Dwyane Wade, Steve Novak, Wesley Matthews, Jae Crowder, Jimmy Butler, Juan Toscano Anderson and others played their college years. Men’s Basketball is the money making sport for Marquette by a long shot. So being one of the two in my class selected for this spot was my big chance.


Well, that’s if I actually took it. I switched majors and gave up my career in Athletic Training for a dream in network marketing and to build a business of my own. I remember delivering that to my professor, who I think today still is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and he was in almost utter disbelief at my decision. Peers in my class didn’t understand my decision, friends and peers scoffed at my decision, I got flack from other professors, people telling me I was making a huge mistake leaving the Athletic Training program. I mean, how could I give up the coveted internship I worked so hard to get?


I just remember that first internship rotation with women’s lacrosse before I would take on men’s basketball, getting up at 3:30am in January in Wisconsin (it averages -10 degrees typically before windchill of -20 to -30), so I could make it to the training room at 4am, and be on the women’s lacrosse field for 2.5-3 hour practices, absolutely freezing my a** off, just standing on the sideline, waiting until an injury happened. Us athletic training students would do a little more than that like fill waters, tape up players, but a lot of it was standing around being there in case an injury happened.


Here I am trying to build a network marketing business while having 3 jobs/internships (resident assistant, part-time trainer, and athletic training intern) as a college student and taking, on average, 18 hard science credits/semester. I’d accomplish productively more in a day than my peers would do in a week. That’s not to brag, that’s how you win. It’s not how many hours you work but what you DO in those hours. I knew early on that if I wanted results others only dreamed of, I’d have to put in the work and sacrifice that no one else around me was willing to.



So when it came to affording my first major network marketing business conference in Richmond Virginia, I sold my TV, my Xbox, and my favorite pair of Nike's so I could afford the ticket and bus ride. I had a dream for a better life financially for myself and my future family than what I grew up with.



When friends would question my work ethic, girls I saw at the time made fun of me for my dreams, why can’t I just sit back and enjoy college, my thoughts would always be something to the tune of “No, you’re unproductive, so get out of my way” arrogant and cocky Joe would say to himself at that point. If anyone has read any biography or autobiography of how Michael Jordan was, the “get on my level or get out of my way” attitude, that type of aggressiveness and intensity was how I operated, and it was off-putting to a lot of people. Honestly one of my biggest regrets in my life to this point was during this time period where I was super aggressive, super intense, off-putting to a lot of people. Looking back now, I don’t apologize for my internal intensity and pressure to be great, but I wish I had a lot more grace for others around me at that time, understanding it was my choice to work as hard as I was and it made me NO better than anyone else. I simply wanted different results.


I alienated a lot of people in college during this time. I didn’t care what other people thought, I was out-working all of them, it wasn’t even close. It also didn’t help that some “mentors” taught me this cockiness at that time, that I was “better” than everyone because I was on my path to being a millionaire in my early 20s. Man, I still laugh at some of these absolutely ignorant thoughts with no real concept of what it takes to achieve that income and lifestyle in business. Kids who are millionaires in their 20s are anomalies. I was (and still am) far from an anomaly, I was average Joe, sucked at basically anything I first put my work towards, and only by pure discipline and work ethic, could break out of average.



That fall of sophomore year, as I took off running with my network marketing business averaging 30 sales presentations/month on top of my RA position, on top of my athletic training internship (before I decided to quit athletic training), on top of my part-time training job in the school rec facilities, not to mention school, things took a DRASTIC turn for the worse, and I didn’t realize how hard and long this valley would be.



I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting with the other athletic training student interns at a banquet for the men’s soccer team who had just had their best season in a long time, and I get a call from my cousin…


My aunt back home in Oregon had just committed suicide, leaving my other two cousins to live with my other five siblings and parents in our smaller 3-bedroom house…


I don’t remember all the details or exact timeframe of this. But either the same night or a day later, I get a call from my parents that my grandpa was diagnosed with very severe cancer…


I was very close to my grandpa. Of all my family members, I felt he was the most proud of all my accomplishments up to that point. My heart literally fell out of my body onto the wet pavement on Wisconsin Avenue as me and the other athletic training interns walked back from the men’s soccer party.


My on and off girlfriend back home in Oregon, who at one point I thought I could marry eventually, made fun of my dream of pursuing network marketing and with a lot of heartache and dismay, I had to end that toxic relationship. How I remember this chain of events, I believe this happened the same week or around the same time I found out about my aunt and grandpa.


Mind you, I was also extremely burnt out from all the sales meetings I was doing, the jobs, the internships, the science credits, being on call as a resident assistant on the weekends for a bunch of drunk freshmen spending their rich parents' money in college. Somehow I was still making it to the gym, probably the only thing keeping me sane at this time. I knew if there was one thing I could control, it was my commitment to my personal health. Even my mental and emotional health, I wasn’t sure how to respond in those moments.



That was one of the biggest defining points of my life. Was I going to crater to the life turmoil around me or somehow find a way to just push through? Both were hard decisions, I chose my hard.


Want to know the one person who was there physically and emotionally for me at the time helping me dig out of the dark place of contemplating continuing my life again? It was one of my good friends at the time, Therese. Yes, the same Therese who is my wife today.




For most people, this barrage of living nightmares would stop them, they’d need to take time to contemplate life, time to get away and get their “head straight”.



The question is not if you can show up and follow through when things are going your way…


BUT, can you still dream and follow through when you’re living the nightmare?



I took my time to digest the overwhelming life events, yes. Two days. That Weekend. That’s it. I had a dream I was pursuing and a life to build. Everything I was doing at the time from my training job, my RA job, my internship, my academics, I couldn’t focus much on what was going on thousands of miles away back home. I had to perform if my future family was going to have any hope in the future financially. All I could do was pray, but sitting there coping with depression, anxiety, all the feelings I was experiencing, it wasn’t going to do me any good.



I still showed up and followed through. The day after I found out about my aunt and grandpa, I was still fulfilling my RA duties that weekend. I was still in the training room at 4am helping set up for the athletes. I still showed up to all my classes and would finish that semester with my best GPA yet. I didn’t miss any business meetings (at the time the networking marketing organization I was a part of held 3 different meetings/week outside of my personal sales meetings), and I was still running 20-30 sales presentation meetings/month. I was determined and wasn’t going to be denied. Not to mention, I didn’t have a car. The meetings in Milwaukee were far removed from the city bus lines that could get me there on time. So I found a way to take rental cars from campus every Tuesday (sometimes I wouldn’t have to if my coaches were able to drive) to get to meetings.



This decision to move on I made at 19 years old. I was FORCED by life to put my big boy pants on and respond in a way to circumstances that most 19-year-olds don’t have to experience. Again, I know stories that are WAY more turbulent than this, but compared to those around me? I wasn’t ignorant enough to believe I knew everyone’s story around me at the time, but I do know I was paying a price I knew most couldn’t relate to.



There are many more challenging situations and stories I’ll share in my next post on business building bloopers that I think you will enjoy. But to keep things rolling, I’ll keep these many obstacles for my next post.



Still in my sophomore year of college, in network marketing, I’d build another team of 10 or so people only to lose traction again, people quit. Again, it was just me. The failure beginning to stack against me in the business really started to eat at my self-image, my confidence. When a lot of people experience setbacks, I notice most stall, they hesitate, or they completely quit. I thought, "damn, how can I do better."


As I continued to pursue my dreams of a better financial situation than I ever had, things didn’t get easier. They only got harder. In fact, every day felt like I was climbing a mental Mt. Everest.


Mine and T’s family were BOTH very negative about what I was getting involved in. I had zero family support.


The friends who brought T and I together decided to no longer be our friends and judge me from a distance for what I was doing. I knew the comments that were said, the criticism they spread amongst my classmates, you could say the “haters”, however, I no longer hold that against them because they didn’t understand my situation and what I was fighting for. I was too intense they said, too fierce in my desire to succeed, they wanted T to be with someone more average than Joe Wanner. I kicked average Joe in the f****** ass in high school, and I refused to crater to average Joe again.



Only a couple months after this barrage of negative life events, I got fired from being a resident assistant. A combination of not understanding certain protocols/procedures and a politically motivated move by some other staff, landed me losing free room and board, only exacerbating financial struggles I was facing at the time trying to pay for private university on my own.



Back home that summer between my sophomore and junior years, I got a full time job in park maintenance for a parks department mowing the parks, trimming the hedges, weed-whacking, picking up trash, etc. so I could still make money to pay for college expenses, tuition, and afford to build my business as well. I remember being filthy with dirt, sweating from non-stop physical labor in 90 degree weather, washing all the sweat and dirt off in the small locker room sink because there were no showers at work, getting dressed in my business clothes, and then driving my parents’ old ‘95 Nissan Maxima across the Portland metro area showing business meetings until late in the evening. During the work day, I would hammer through 8-10 business podcasts per day on success and mindset that would sometimes leave me crying by myself in my work truck because of the price I was paying, how hard financially life still felt, and how bad I wanted my dreams to happen through network marketing.


Life at home was still hard at that time, my two cousins living with all of us in my parents house still healing from the loss of their mom. We did the best we could to support them emotionally. It was very tough on a lot of us at that time. But I couldn’t sulk in it. Sitting feeling depressed in our family's suffering wasn’t going to help anybody. I had to keep building my future.



And because I decided to continue despite the life situations, everything got instantly better and I could just move on with life right? I only wished.


I got another dreaded call...one of my coaches in network marketing, one of my best friends, a hero to me at the time...


Died in a tragic motor cycle accident and lost his life at 24 years old...


What the actual f*** is happening in life I told tell myself back then. I missed his funeral back in the Midwest because I didn't have the money, or could afford to take time off work. I knew the best way to honor him was to continue his legacy by continuing to build the business he taught me many skills and life lessons on.



But we kept moving forward.



With none of my network marketing coaches nearby, no business association to be a part of, I CREATED an association and being 8 months in at the time, I built my 3rd team of 10 people all in Portland, OR with nothing but my pure determination and a dream. So much to the point I caught the attention of another one of my coaches who personally flew all the way out from Chicago for a weekend to help me solidify that team.


Well, that team completely disappeared as I headed back to Milwaukee for my junior year.



That first year in network marketing, I personally sponsored 30+ people (for those who don’t understand what kind of work ethic it takes to achieve this in network marketing, only the top 0.001% have this type of work ethic and sustain this type of result sponsoring/recruiting new people). I was SO DETERMINED to be successful and a millionaire and I had the desire to outwork everyone around me, which I was. However the “results” were marginal because most of those people I sponsored would not end up sticking around and it was EXTREMELY humbling to put that much work in my first year, and have almost no financial results to show for it. In fact, because of the naïve inaccurate financial coaching I received in the business and my own lack of astute personal finance, I severely went financially backward. Good coaches in network marketing who run legitimate businesses teach you to operate profitably, but unfortunately not my coaches at the time. Not their fault, it was part of the whole organization's culture, they were just teaching what they knew.



To stack on the financial struggles, because I lost my RA job and free room and board (about $10k/year), I had to find a place to live junior year. Fortunately I finally found a place with some guys who (I’m still so grateful to this day) allowed me to stay with them as I got my feet under me. Financially, it actually got so bad my junior year (I was still investing into all the business support materials, the business meetings, purchasing inventory of products to sell)…that I was basically homeless. I was three months behind on rent sharing an extremely small room in a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom, college house with 7 other guys.


To add to that, I had switched academically to be a strength coach instead of an athletic training student and had an internship at this time training young athletes all the way in Mequon (absolutely no Milwaukee city bus went that far out into the suburbs) and I didn’t have a car.


Many days, I had to choose between eating food and the rental car to get to my internship. It literally ate away at me, no pun intended. Here I was training the kids of rich families in Mequon, hungry as hell, wondering where I’d get my next paycheck to afford food, operating on such a low budget, and still wondering how I’d afford the business operating expenses in network marketing.


I remember the day that I only had $8 to my name (I didn’t have a credit card at the time so the money I had was all I had), and I chose to spend it on the rental car to a business meeting instead of dinner that night. The only way I afforded food the rest of the week (already being 3 months behind on rent) was because I managed to sell two boxes of energy drinks and that paid for my groceries.



That next week, I had no money, no paycheck coming (my internship was for free for the “experience”). My amazing girlfriend (now wife) T, felt so bad that she sacrificed some of her grocery money to help me afford groceries. It wasn’t much because I felt extremely shameful even asking for help, but it was enough to fend off the absolute PIT of hunger I felt in my stomach every day surviving off of one peanut butter sandwich, some apples, and some celery with peanut butter and raisins on it (I can still eat apples but the other food items make me sick bringing back those memories of hunger). That’s what I survived off of for an entire semester of college.



Quick flashback, remember the kid coming out of high school with all the accolades, sports and academic success, the continued achievement as a freshman in college?


Well, in less than 12 months...


I no longer had a defined career path...


My aunt committed suicide...


My grandpa got cancer...


One of my best friends and coaches died young...


I had done more work in one year than 99.9% of people in network marketing with ZERO results to show for it...


I had no money...


I was starving daily...


I should have been living on the street being that far behind in rent...



All I had was my dream, the gym, and my amazing girlfriend T who saw everything I was going through and supported me through it.



That feeling of hunger, being almost homeless, drained of energy with all of my commitments… I still wonder to this day how I made it through all that and walked out of that situation keeping my high grades, eventually got the ok paying training job, and still afforded the rental cars to finish my internship. Oh, and I was still showing the business plan to a lot of entitled Marquette kids who were way better off financially than I was, thinking they were working so hard just studying for school as their only real commitment. This would build an unhealthy edge and chip on my shoulder that only fueled the intensity I had. I was going through so much, I just quite honestly didn’t even give two s**** about what anyone else thought. Screw everyone else, they didn’t know what I was going through or even cared to ask. I kept to myself and just did what I needed to do…


Show up to my internships

Show up early mornings and late nights to my job

Do well in the classroom

Be there for my girlfriend

Build my business



Everything else, screw it, I didn’t have time, energy, or a desire to party at that time. I was in a 1,000ft valley and could barely breathe. I felt suffocated financially, energy wise, and time wise. The only thing I had was hope.



Financially, I’d finally get some breathing room when I landed a part-time personal training job at the time that I could FINALLY afford food again. The only thing was, that job was a 50 minute bus ride in the heart of Milwaukee (got exposed to a lot riding those buses of the inner city of Milwaukee) to my job, AND 50 minutes back. Because of my internships and 18 semester credits I was still taking, the only time I had to train people was 5-7am in the mornings before classes, and from 5-9pm after my classes and strength training internships were done. I wouldn’t get home until 10pm, maybe have an hour to do homework, and go back to waking up at 4am again. I did it in high school, I thought, no different here.



Where did that leave time to still attend my three network marketing business meetings a week and still average 20-30 sales presentations per month? I had no choice some days but to use my lunch breaks for meetings, small breaks at work, and long bus rides home to fit those phone calls and in-person meetings in.



Was I insane, a psychopath, completely out of my mind working this hard? Maybe. I’ve always lived by the quote that I’d rather choke on pursuing success than nibble on settling for mediocrity.



Worth it? 100%. No one can take away the character and perseverance I built from the work I continued to put in all those years NO MATTER WHAT LIFE was throwing at me at the time.



And again, it wouldn’t get easier. After my junior year, I made the decision to stay on Marquette’s campus that summer so I could build my network marketing business (I already saw going back home I had less success in the business when there wasn’t association around me to build it).


A common joke I tell people when something is very boring is to go watch paint dry…because I actually knew what that was like for an entire summer repainting Marquette’s dorm rooms…in super thick painters paints..in 90 degree 80% humidity weather in the summer of Wisconsin. Most of my coworkers would listen to music. I had business podcasts on all day every day until I wanted to puke with the information I was taking in. But it locked me in mentally to make it through those long days of painting, shower and grab a bite to eat for 30 minutes, and then jump on the city bus 50 minutes to get to my personal training job I still kept. And then on the bus ride home, run business meetings over the phone.



During all this time, all the job changes, the life ups and downs, I never missed a major network marketing business conference (there were 4/year that required travel to all types of cities across the Midwest from Memphis to Columbus to Richmond to Louisville, you name the city, I was there), I never missed ANY of the three weekly business meetings, and I still averaged 20-30 sales presentations per month. That work ethic wouldn’t stop or be interrupted until I decided to leave that association, another story for a future post.




Even when my family that August went to visit my grandpa as his cancer had metastasized to stage 4 and he only had a few months to live, I woke up at 4am Hawaii time so I could get my business meeting phone calls in early so I’d have the days with family during the last week that I’d ever see my grandpa again. Mind you two major hurricanes were conveniently headed toward Hawaii that week and the whole island was under hurricane prep.


I remember the tropical storm winds howling outside with the palm trees swaying almost horizontally and we were all sitting there praying we wouldn’t get hit by the worst of it. And you know what I was doing in that small room of the rental house we stayed in? I was plugging in via skype to our weekly business meeting being held back all the way in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I had people on my team counting on me and I was still showing up no matter what.


BECAUSE WINNERS DON’T MAKE F****** EXCUSES.


I’ve had hard weeks in my life, but very few were as hard as that one…it still brings tears to my eyes what it felt like saying my last goodbye to my grandpa before knowing the ultimate reality that I would never see him again. I couldn’t keep the tears from flowing at the airport. I cried on the solo plane ride back to the Midwest as the plane had to navigate around the 2nd hurricane that would barely miss north of the islands.




I came back that August, back to the grind, back to the strength training internships at 4am, back to a full day of classes, jumping on the city bus at 3pm to get to my training job, work until 9pm, get home by 10pm, then wake up at 3am the next morning. Same work ethic, same drive, same determination to succeed. Unshaken by the current circumstances. Life would go on.


The fall of my senior year, my grandpa passed away. Although I knew it was coming, it didn’t make things any easier. I would be back in Hawaii after that fall semester to speak at my grandpa’s funeral, caught speechless with emotions because that year I didn’t receive that birthday phone call from him wishing me a happy birthday, he never missed that day my entire life…


I had a heavy heart finishing out my senior year at Marquette. I was worn out, absolutely exhausted. I had been more consistent in my attitude and work ethic in network marketing than 99.9% of the people in that environment at weekly meetings, dealing with more than 10x the life s*** others were going through. I had responsibility, I had another team of about 10 people at that time I was leading through the ups and downs of building a business. One or two of them even started to duplicate my efforts. Outside of the business, my classes, and jobs, the life situations couldn’t get worse, or so I thought…



Sometimes when we’re in the valley, we don’t understand the depth or length of the valley and how long it will truly be until we see that next mountain to climb back to the top…but we just have to keep moving and praying for the breakthrough.



Life would only get harder as I finished out college and entered the “real world”...


To be continued…


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